Next stop: London

I truly believe in what is written in the title of this blog "what is important is the journey, not the desitanation", so I try to enjoy every single step of this journey that I started so long ago by coincidence (or by the conspiracy of the Universe).

Step by step I keep walking in the direction of my dream, and I am so thankful for the experience so far, especially for the people I have met along the way, that even when the end seems too far away or the road is full of obstacles, I keep going happy and willing to see what will appear at the other side of the hill.

Now it's time for me to take a new step, tomorrow I will move to London for at least a year, to work at the Westmister City Council as Organizational Development Consultant. It took few months but I'm very, very happy with this job, and finally I have been able to leave the Financial Services industry ;)

But under all this excitment and happiness there is also fear. I know this is something normal, I am conscious about the responsibilities of the job, about the difficulties of starting a new life in a new country... but most of all, I know all the commitments I have made with myself, and this is the year I have to prove I will keep them, and that scares me a bit... will I be able to keep going through this path I finally chose with all the consequences? Let's see what happens in the next chapter...

Happiness is a serie of perfect moments

I truly believe that happiness is not a state you can reach, it is not a lable you can put on your life, but it is a collection of small, perfect moments when you feel you are happy, and the more of those moments you can collect, the more you can say you are happy.

One of those perfect moments happened during my last day in Amsterdam, when spontaneously I spent those last hours in the best way possible, not being able to think at all about the future but enjoying that present at its best. I was in a bubble, one that created a perfect world for me, one that gave peace of mind, one that allowed me to enjoy every second.

Thanks so much for that day, you made it speciall, you made it perfect.

Getting older...

Yeap, today was my brithday. And nope, I have no problem telling my age, I'm turning 29 today. Gosh... 29!!! it sounds so... old!!! I remember when I was 18, just entering in the University and looked at the 30 year old people... they all looked so grown up, so mature, settle... now I look at myself and I'm far, far away from that image. Was I that wrong? maybe, maybe not... what it is clear is that my life now has nothing to do with the idea I had in my mind when I was growing up. And I had thought about that a lot, is it better? is it worst? and I haven't been able to find an answer to that question, the only thing that comes to my mind is that my life is unique, different, and that I wouldn't want it to be any other way. Yeah, true, I have had some minutes of panic last weeks thinking "I my god, I'm almost 30 and I don't have this or that..." but those minutes pass quite quickly and then all I can see, all I can remember is the great times I've had, the great experiences I've gone through and most important, the incredible people I have met and now I can call friends. Just for that last thing these 29 years have been worth every second :D

Short update about my life

Hello from London!!! nope, I haven't moved here (yet), this is sort of a "farewell" present from my current company. Three weeks ago I received a call from a former manager asking me how was my workload to see if I could come to London to help him and his team for 2 weeks. He is the director of a development programme in the bank that starts its third wave in two weeks, and one of the team members just resigned and they were pretty much in deep s**t cause it was going to take them at least a month to get a temporary replacement and they coudln't wait that long. So after talking with my current team they said yes, I said yes, and here I am, spending 2 weeks in London organizing 3 big conferences in Hong Kong, London and Amsterdam. It's a bit like going back to AIESEC and being part of the OC (organizing committee) with few minor differences: this time I have a budget, a real, huge one; because of that the hotels are more than willing to help me with anything; and last, but not least, the "delegates" expect to be treated almost as royalty (although we also had couple of AIESECers that were like that...)

These two weeks are also kind of a training, first to see if I could like London enough to live here (almost all my interviews are for positions here in London), and second to see how is all this about living alone. To tell you the truth 2 weeks on my own in a hotel room is not my idea of fun... I can't really complain, I have a good number of friends around here, so I have been meeting them on a regular bases, enough not to go crazy, but still, the whole thing of coming back from work and find an empty room doesn't seduce me that much... but I shouldn't start worrying about this too much, first I need to find a job, then I can start worrying about accommodation.

So this next Tuesday evening I go back to Amsterdam, to spend my last weeks over there, and no, I haven't got a clue yet where I'm going after, still searching for a job.

Around Europe in 4 days

Yeap, that seems to be the tittle of the next two months for me. After coming back from my holiday I went to London for 4 days, to have some interviews with recruitment agencies.

Then, when I came back to Amsterdam I realized that Easter, with its 4 wonderful days off was just coming my way, so I convinced my house mate, we rented a car and drove to Paris, just beautiful!!!

And yesterday at the office I realized that I have 3 more long 4 days weekend in the next two months, life is just perfect :-D so now I'm planning what to do with those pieces of freedom, the last weekend of April I will go to Madrid, not only because I need to renew my driving licence, but also cause I need to leave the country that weekend, why? because on April 30 they celebrate "Queen's day" and everybody goes to the street wearing orange and with high levels of alcohol in their blood, not for me at all.

That leaves me with 2 more long weekends to plan... where to go? what to do? who knows, that only adds fun :-D

African drums and Maori haka

So how do you combine African drums and Maori haka? easy, you only have to travel to the furthest place in the world (at least for me), New Zealand, then meet with African friends over there and accept the invitation to spend "an African day", and there it is, suddenly you find yourself celebrating the 50th anniversary of Ghana independence in Auckland... one of the best days I have spent in a long time :D

It just happened that I was reading at that time a book about the last 50 years of Africa, it is called "The state of Africa", by Meredith. I don't particularly like this authour too much, his vision about Africa is very, very pesimistic, and if all your knowledge about the continent is the one you get from the news then it won't help you at all to understand the wonders of an incredible place, but he is good at presenting facts and events.

This particular book is about the evolution of the African countries, from the moment they got the independence till the current times, starting with a deep analysis of the situations that provoqued the former colonies to grant the independence to the countries... higly recomended for all those who want to understand a bit more about the current situation of Africa.

New Zealand - second part

So here it is, the second part of my time in New Zealand. It is said one image is worth thousand words, and I have to admit that in this case it's totally true. The country is so beautiful, I had the opportunity to visit a kiwi reserve, see geysers and boiling mud pools, I went on a boat trip and played with dolphins, saw traditional Maori carvings, learned how to shave a sheep and did a wine testing tour for a whole day... and all that while enjoying the company of wonderful friends and in general an amazing time... I didn't want to leave the place!!! I guess that is one of the signs to recognize an unforgettable holiday :D

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Second stop: New Zealand

By this time I had already watched all the watchable movies provided by the "individual enterteinment system" offered by Singapore airlines, I don't wanna think what will happen on my way back :S

But finally I arrived to Auckland. Ladi was at the airport waiting for me, there is nothing worst than to arrive to a new country and have nobody at the airport arrivals waiting for you. We went to his place, where I had an amazing shower... those who travel long distances will undertand the incredible pleasure of a shower after all those hours... almost a sin ;)

The next day we drove to the Coromandel peninsula, northern part of the north island. Amazing beaches, incredible landscapes, so beautiful... I can understand the fascination people feel for this part of the world. Sometimes you almost expected to see Frodo coming out!!!





And now I have one and half more weeks to be here. I will meet more friends that happen to be in this place at this time, will probably visit other parts of NZ and will keep enjoying every single minute of this trip... Life is just great!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First stop: Singapore

After a never-ending flight I arrived to Singapore. My main reason to stop over that island-city-state was to meet Brenda again, but also this was going to be my first stop in Asia. And I have to say it was just great!!! I can understand that people that have been living in SG for a while can find it boring, but for me it was the best way to get a "peak preview" of Asia as you can find strong Chinese, Malay and Indian communities.

One of the best representations of this cultural mix is the food, delicious!!! any kind of Asian food, everywhere, so yummy!!! (I can't stop remembering the amazing chillie crab I had at the beach one night...).

But the best of all was to spend some time with Brenda. When my closest friends in Amsterdam started to leave it was a gradual process, first Marcio, then Brenda and Zoe... I realized that a wonderful time in Amsterdam was over, and changes were coming my way whatever I wanted them or not. But I missed them so much... specially being able to talk with them. The first night I was in Singapore I was having this amazing conversation with Brenda, about everything and nothing, changing topics every 5 minutes, challenging each other, reinforcing the other's point of view with new arguments... just like the old times, the only difference is that now we were in Asia :D

And after almost a week in Singapore, again in a flight, this time a bit shorter, on my way to New Zealand, the furthest place I could ever go...

And before moving on, a great break

So there it was, my last day at work. It was a bit strange to say bye to the people I had been working with for a year, but by now I'm quite use to say good bye, that is one of the main things you learn to do when you decide your home is the whole world...

And then... my trip!!! yeap, I have been playing with the idea of travelling to Asia and Pacific regions for quite few months, at the beginning the idea was that the trip was going to be a reward for me after I had sign the renewal of my contract, but then, when it was clear that the renewal was not going to happen I decided to keep going and use the trip as a break, time to think about next steps, meet old friends but most of all time for me to have fun!!! :D

Finally, the day arrived, I took my bag, went to the airport and hoped to survive the 12 and half hours to my first stop: Singapore.

Farewell drinks

Yesterday I had my farewell drinks with my work colleagues, typical event you or your department organizes when your time working within the company has come to an end. This time we had a "3x1", as I was joined by Lauren and Evi, also leaving, in this event. It was a very nice evening, at certain point I looked around and saw no colleagues but friends, and being able to call friend to so many people in the pub made me feel so happy. It gave a feeling of fulfillment, I may be leaving this organization, but I can feel my two years and half here have had an impact, I have made a contribution, and I leave behind a great group of people who I know I will meet again, somewhere around the world.

So thanks to all of you guys, to Simone, Reuben, Mazzy, Nicole, Lauren, Evi, Bronwen, Wiebe, Karine, Heidi, Matt, Iris, Arthur, Cibele... and so many others that made my time here worth it.

First time for everything

Finally, my too long postponed trip to Asia is about to start, in one week I will be taking my flight to travel to Singapore, and from there a "small" jump to New Zealand. I know, I know, not too much but being this the first time I'm travelling east I think is a good beginning ;-)

3 weeks of holidays, after a very busy year. Time to think, try to find some answers, make some decisions, decide which elements are going to influence those decisions, and most of all time to have some fun and think just about me :-D

Chaos, confussion, disorder... life!!!

When I was a little kid I couldn't answer the typical question, what do you want to be when you grow up? I had no idea what I wanted to be, but I knew exactly what I didn't want: I didn't want to have a grey life, a boring, predictable or monotonous life... and so far I'm doing quite well in that field. For the past 4 years I have never been able to make plans for more than a year, never knowing in which country I was going to live for the next 12 months. Now I'm that situation again, searching for opportunities, measuring options, looking into the horizon hoping for a signal to show me in which directions I should move... who knows where I will be in a couple of months... but for sure nobody can call my life grey. So I'm happy, confused, but happy.

Forget your toothbrush

For the past year Zoe, Brenda and I have been developing our creative side through handmade birthday cards and presents. It is so much fun, and so much meaningful, to give a present to somebody really special if the present comes directly from your hands.

On my brithday I received a card saying that I would receive my present as soon as Zoe, Brenda and I were in the same country (something a bit challenging lately). Well, it seems that the moment has arrived. I received a postcard at work on Thursday telling me to be in a certain point and time on Sunday, and to bring my toothbrush. Nothing too strange here, but that changed when yesterday Friday I received a message from Brenda: forget your toothbrush, instead paint your toenails, see you on Sunday...

EGYPT 2006!!!!

It was beautiful, it was great... our journey as MCPs started in Guatemala in 2001, and in Malta 2002 we decided we didn't want to just leave and forget each other, so we made the commitment of keeping in touch and to meet after 5 years in Egypt. We managed to give updates at least once per year and this May the reunion took place. It wasn't as big as we could have imagined 5 years ago, but the people that was there was the right people ;-)

It was a week of chilling out, taking a break and just enjoying... so relaxing, so good... and meeting old friends again, having good conversations, realizing that we can follow the track of almost all the MCPs in our year, deciding when and where the next reunion was going to take place, the Egyptian vomiting society, the camel ride, sunset in the desert, sun baking, bargaining, shisha, ice coffee, beach, sun, laughs, friends... You can't miss the next reunion!!!

AMOR, the most beatufil word in Spanish

According to a poll run by the "Escuela de Escritores" amor (love) has been selected as the most beautiful word in Spanish. It was followed by libertad (freedom), paz (peace), vida (life), azahar (orange blossom), esperanza (hope), madre (mother), amistad (friendship) and libelula (dragonfly)...

Too fast

People says that you are never happy about money, if you don’t have it you are unhappy, if you have it you are still not happy cause you want more... I have this feeling about time, it moves too fast or too slow, but never at the path I wish. If I’m not feeling well, going through a rough period I wish for the time to pass faster, if I’m having fun and enjoying my life I wish the time would stop and let me to enjoy that moment for a bit longer, cause it goes by too fast...

Keeping a promise

I said that the first time I signed a real contract (not a trainee one) I was going to get a tattoo, to conmemorate and always remember that particular date. Well, I got the contract, I signed it so now I need to get the tattoo...

I will go tomorrow Thursday, after work, to one of the thousands of tattoo places in Amsterdam to have something drawn in some part of my body, haven't decided yet what or where but I hope to have the decision made for tomorrow 6pm...

My good luck little fairy

She is still with me, still going with me everywhere I go, helping me to follow my dreams and giving me the hand I need when I think I'm lost. After some very frustrating months of trying to move to the next step on my career I finally got my first real job!!! a one year contract (yeah, a real one) with ABN AMRO, in Group HR, in the Performance Management area.

After my experience last year working with Talent Management and Organisational Development this is the logical step, I saw how the processes worked together, and how to implement the global policies into the business unit reality, now I will be focusing only in one area, but taking into consideration the link with the other areas, and I will be developing the global policies, but taking into consideration the implications for the business units implementation.

I'm so happy!!!

And now

Zoe's birthday!!!

Last Sunday was Zoe's birthday, and instead of doing the typicall lunch/dinner/drinks we went for a creative workshop, where using Zoe as the central theme, we worked on teams creating paintings to express our creativity... it was great!!!

But the pleasure wasn't only because of the great time we spent creating our master pieces, but also because I remembered when we celebrated Zoe's birthday last year (by coincidence hundred meters away of where we were this year). I was so happy I could be there again... in the past years I learned how to appreciate these ocassions, when the distance is not the main ingredient in your friendship :-)

Looking back...

Year and half in Amsterdam... pictures of special moments, special people, special places...

What makes it feel like home?

I finished my traineeship with ABN on December and then went to Spain for Christmas holidays. I had a lovely time with my family, friends, Emily and Marcio were there to share that time with me, I met Tania and Andrea, which is becoming my Christmas tradition... but despite that I wasn't feeling like at home, it was just a break, a time to relax and to be with my family, but after a while I wanted to come back home, to Amsterdam...

What makes it feel like home? maybe is the city itself, not too big, welcoming, charming... maybe is the fact of having being here for a year an half already and starting to know my way around, where to go, what to do... maybe is the community of friends I have here, more than a group, as they are part of my life here... maybe is the routine I'm starting to have, doing certain things at certain times, and waiting for the next week to come and do it again, enjoying the sense of belonging that comes everytime I do it... or maybe it's just that I have, again, created a new confort zone around me.

If you want to improve you need to challenge yourself, if you want to develop you need to push yourself out of your confort zone... I'm in a different country, in a different situation, with uncertainity all around me, but I have built my confort zone, is this the reason why I came back after Christmas? to feel confortable and secure? It seems that wherever I go I'm able to stablish this confort zone, is this a good or not so good thing?...

London, beautiful city

Finally!!! after a couple of failed ocassions I got the opportunity to visit London, for the first time. Yeah, it seems a bit strange that I had never been there, but I always wanted to know what was so atractive from that city, why so many people wanted to leave there... London is a capital, a biiig capital, and I'm not that friend of capital cities myself, too crowed, noisy, fast...

But there I went, and thanks to Femi I had a place to stay for the weekend, that was really great. And I have to say that after my visit I can understand the fascination people feels for the city, yes it is crowed and noisy (specially the weeks before Christmas, my God!! that was crazy) but it is also vibrant and alive, the energy and charm find you in almost every street... I think I could loose myself there for a while...

Friends, the best treasure

Always there when you need a kind ear to listen to you, a smile to give to you, or a good kick in the ass if you need it, friends are the best treasure.

A call, sms, email away but always there when I need you.

Dead ends

I seem to be going into dead ends, one after the other. Every time I think I've found a new opportunity, a chance to do or to be I try not to be over excited, as one of the worst things that can happen to you is to dream about the sky and find yourself with your face on the floor. But this is not fair!!! for the past 4, 6 months, I've been following opportunities, trying to create new ones, and when I thought something was finally clicking I get a cold shower... time after time... I know every thing happens for a reason, but honestly, I can't see that reason now!!!

Sounds like an interesting book...

“Sometimes I envy all those people who know with certainty to what place they belong; to the writers who have been granted with a language and a history without traps nor hooks. Gratuitously. Along with an affluent nation of ready accomplices, compatriots who see their own destiny, the one of the history of its nation and the one of the reflected literary tradition in the mirror that is the work of the writer. Without loose ends. Obviously, I do not enjoy a similar privilege. I belong to that nomadic tribe, the marginalized ones; that town born between the unions of the continental plates, in the interstices between the hour zones that nobody claims, ensnared between latitudes. A tribe without fixed residence, home, State. I have two passports and an ample variety of documents that allow to identify me and that tell the world where I have been, but not who I am nor where I go. My language is a bastard language, out of the necessity, the improvisation, the bad grammar and the continuous confusions. I am a stranger wherever I go. My history has not been given by anybody: I have had to take control of it, to demand it piece by piece, to take it from the pillars of the centuries and the shelves of old erudition. My weak words contrast with those heavy volumes bound in leather and written with blood. My nation is a haphazard list of points on the map through which I have walked and on that I do not have any right. Some can think that I have been assimilated, but they are mistaken”

"A veces envidio a todas esas personas que saben con certeza a qué lugar pertenecen; a los escritores a quienes les han sido concedidos un idioma y una historia sin trampas ni anzuelos. Gratuitamente. Junto con una nación de cómplices bien dispuestos, compatriotas que ven su propio destino, el de la historia de su nación y el de la tradición literaria reflejado en el espejo que es el trabajo del escritor. Sin cabos sueltos. Obviamente, yo no disfruto de un privilegio semejante. Yo pertenezco a esa tribu nómada, a los marginados, a ese pueblo nacido entre las uniones de las placas continentales, en los intersticios entre las zonas horarias que nadie reclama, ensartado entre latitudes. Una tribu sin residencia fija, sin hogar, sin Estado. Tengo dos pasaportes y una amplia variedad de documentos que permiten identificarme y que le cuentan al mundo dónde he estado, pero no quién soy ni adónde voy. Mi idioma es una lengua bastarda hija de la necesidad, la improvisación, la mala gramática y los continuos malentendidos. Soy un extraño vaya donde vaya. Mi historia no me la ha regalado nadie: he tenido que apropiármela, reclamarla pedazo a pedazo, arrancársela a los pilares de los siglos y a los estantes de erudición marmórea. Mis débiles palabras contrastan con esos pesados tomos encuadernados en cuero y escritos con sangre. Mi nación es una lista azarosa de puntos del mapa por los que he pasado y sobre los que no tengo ningún derecho. Algunos pueden pensar que he sido asimilado, pero se equivocan”.

Travelling with dijnns, Jamal Mahjoub

November

Half of November is gone, time is flying. Easy to look back and remember what was there last year and the year before, why do I remember so well what I was doing in November all those years ago? maybe because November is a transition month for me? after the beginnings on September, before the excitement of Christmas in December, November is a month to settle down, look around and realise what's going on.

But today, 14 November, I'm also able to look in front, and for the first time in some months, excitement, hope, conviction of something good... all those feelings are inside me again, and that's just wonderful, the sun is shining, literally and in my mind. Don't know yet what will happen, but right now it doesn't really matter, because everything inside me tells me it will be great...

Simple words, deep feelings

One night I had a dream.
I dreamed I was walking along the beach with God
And across the sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,
One belonged to me and the other to God.

When the last scene of my life flashed before us
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that at time along the path of life
There was only one set of footprints.

I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest
And saddest times of my life.
This really bothered me and I questioned God about it.
“God, you said that once I decided to follow you,
you would walk with me all the way, but I noticed
that during the most troublesome times of my life
there is only one set of footprints.
I don’t understand why in times when I needed you most,
You would leave me.”

God replied, “My precious, precious child, I love you
And would never, never leave you during your trials and suffering.
When you see only one set of footprints,
It was then that I carried you…”

Homesick

Waiting for an email to arrive to the office, wasting some time, I decided to read some blogs... and here it was, like an arrow directly to my heart, a mention to East Africa, somebody testing that part of the world for the first time, the words brought me the smells, the sounds, the colors, the feelings... I could see it in front of me, all I had to do was to reach for it to touch it... and then it disappeared, vanished in the air, and this feeling of homesickness came instead. I don't use to be this emotional, but in one second my eyes were full of tears and a knot was in my throat.

I need to go back, I can't run away from the feelings, from this desire. And now, in the middle of the search for a job after my traineeship, finalising my back to what I have to do, I can't stop asking myself why am I doing this? why don't I just pack and go back to my heart's home? is it sense of responsibility what is keeping me here? or fear to the unknown? I was never good with working today for tomorrow's reward, I prefer immediate reward, so the waiting is a killer for me.

Don't know, but till I find out my heart is still aching, longing for what I had...