Homesick

Waiting for an email to arrive to the office, wasting some time, I decided to read some blogs... and here it was, like an arrow directly to my heart, a mention to East Africa, somebody testing that part of the world for the first time, the words brought me the smells, the sounds, the colors, the feelings... I could see it in front of me, all I had to do was to reach for it to touch it... and then it disappeared, vanished in the air, and this feeling of homesickness came instead. I don't use to be this emotional, but in one second my eyes were full of tears and a knot was in my throat.

I need to go back, I can't run away from the feelings, from this desire. And now, in the middle of the search for a job after my traineeship, finalising my back to what I have to do, I can't stop asking myself why am I doing this? why don't I just pack and go back to my heart's home? is it sense of responsibility what is keeping me here? or fear to the unknown? I was never good with working today for tomorrow's reward, I prefer immediate reward, so the waiting is a killer for me.

Don't know, but till I find out my heart is still aching, longing for what I had...